OLIVIA SOH: November 2021

It's okay to not be okay | Inspired Podcast

By 靜涵 ♥ - November 23, 2021

Rough patch, a bad day, a major setback. Sometimes, it seems like one thing goes wrong after another. And another, and another.

Hello real-one beautifuls, I hope everyone is been doing well (i hope, 'everyone'). I haven't really been busy.. I mean I've been busy academically but in terms of real productive work. There has not been too much of that which I personally don't really mind because I know that once school started again gonna be like crazy and hectic so I'm trying to hold on and used the last second that turning my head off and my brain off and not doing much of anything. It is a little bit exhausting, to be honest, to kinda like force myself to not like not doing too much.

IDK WHAT IM SAYING but

Sometimes an unexpected challenge or an obstacle might come in my way, and I find myself stressing out, worrying and not knowing what to do. And, some days, I just have nothing. Zero motivation, no creativity. All of a sudden, I'm being plagued with self-doubt.

It's really hard for me to kinda differentiate actual balance in my routine and I mentioned this before

I always have such unhealthy lifestyle balance. Am I just a perpetually 'unbalance' person.
Deep topic here once again. Let me share a nice podcast I've listened just recently.

This really plays a big part in my life (well, at this moment)

Know that my feelings are temporary. Sometimes it does feel like I start to lose control over everything– this is why in my experience, sticking to my regular routine is crucial.

I honestly was so blown away by her talk. With the fact that I allowed those overwhelming feelings to take over. I didn’t meditate, I didn’t get my daily workouts in, I ate crappy food, I didn’t keep up with my gratitude journal- I didn’t do any of those things that help me stay sane, happy and motivated. I think that this is why keeping up with your regular routine as much as possible is very important during stressful times.

When I get in that funk, it’s very easy to start blaming myself, or others for my problems. It’s very important that despite whatever it is that I'm going through, I forgive both myself and anyone else I might be blaming. I think that we all tend to be way too hard on ourselves, overanalyzing every situation that might have played out differently if we made a different decision, etc.

I guess like the takeaway from that podcast episode is that perfectly fine to not be okay. You’re allowed to change your mind, to take a break or leave a situation you don’t feel comfortable in. There’s no need to blame yourself for any of those things just like there’s no need to feel bad about… feeling bad.

We should all be allowed to fall apart sometimes so that we can find ourselves all over again.

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Mini Book Review | The 5 Second Rule - Mel Robbins

By 靜涵 ♥ - November 22, 2021

Okay beautifuls. Just smashed some very strong coffee *issa great start to the day right!*

I am seriously overwhelmed with emotion as I am writing this because I loved [ The 5 second rule ] so much I had to share!

I've used the 5 Second Rule in my own life when I'm overthinking and just need to do the thing already.

I've recommended it as a tool for friends who are paralyzed by indecision and want to stop second-guessing themselves.

But high fiving myself in the mirror?

I was more than a little skeptical that such a simple action could have any profound impact on my life.

But then I heard Mel explain the neuroscience and research behind the High 5 Habit on Lacy Phillips' podcast, To Be Magnetic, and I decided to give it a try.

Fundamentally, the 5 second rule is a count down and then you physically move (5,4,3,2,1 and MOVE)

It's kinda like when you count backwards after 1 and there is no place to go

SO THAT IS YOUR CUE TO MOVE, TO BLAST OFF

If one habit could help me stop avoiding mirrors, or help me be kinder to my reflection when I'm getting ready in the mornings... If one habit could help me stop the automatic process of scrutinizing my face and cataloguing every perceived flaw even before I've had the chance to take a shower...

It was worth trying.

I am a visual person

So when I use the rule I like to really think I am like a rocket and blast off from where I am

One biggest takeaway is that don’t wait to say something or find the perfect time to say something. Sometimes we all, including myself wait for the “right” time to have a conversation or bring something up. In reality is there ever a right time?! Don’t wait, have those talks now.

So every morning for the past week I've leaned into the bathroom mirror, made myself look into my own eyes and high-fived my reflection.

When you've spent your entire life picking apart your appearance, it can feel emotional when your inner self senses relief may be on the way.

Also, Mel Robbins is right. The very act of doing things when I think of them, not when I feel like doing them. This is something I am constantly working on. It can be a hard one, but really makes a difference for me throughout the day.

Per Mel, it's using the science of neurobics to help break unhealthy, destructive patterns of behavior.

For me, the high five habit is like witnessing yourself coming to your own aid.

The effect has been so moving that I don't just do it in the mornings.

I find myself high-fiving my reflection several times a day.

You will find it hard AT FIRST no joke

Use the rule starting off small.

For instance, if you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning, make a commitment that when your alarms goes off

5 4 3 2 1 GET OUT OF BED

Creating trust with yourself and building your personal integrity.

Holding yourself accountable and learning to trust yourself :)

Not out of self-absorption or vanity, but because there's something that softens and breaks open when you're no longer available for doing battle with yourself.

Try it. Do it with intention. See what happens for you.

I listed to the audio version of the book on Youtube and it is read by her. You really feel like you are in a one on one mentoring session with her. She can really relate and is fun to listen too.

But If you need a softcopy version, dm me on Twitter @jinghan_ljt