The weather is cold. The day are shorter and Valentine is over. Rather than bitching about being lonely or without love i bitch about growing own instead. Well realized that this morning it's quite a good time or mayb best time to update.

Just a seldom updating. I'm not an actual writer but i always think that i should be something different than what i am. Usually something 'better' whatever that means lah.

Okay.

Next,

Maybe, they think because i'm in intense pain today, i will always be in pain. Actually they don't want to die they just wanna the pain to go away. C.S said it's a combination of a lot of things, deep sadness, guilt, depression, abuse etc. And also people who commit suicide think their problems are unsolveable and they feel completly out of control. They felt like suicide is the only option that they only left or the only chance at peace they'll ever have

To all of the single-rs out there hmm there is life and a good one to be had, even if you do so without someone at your side. If you are young enough, perhaps you will find love again and a mate to support and care or whatever  If not dog, cats or maybe birds come in handy to fill the void LOL unless you really prefer some others assorted animals - Snake aha. Kids seriously. Life is an amazing a beutiful and loving things. (idk is that my world is too peacefully?) My life with or without mate feels good again Feels fine. Try to find joy in things again and be grateful for that. Hows wonderful when human being can be and how much i love people and how good we all can be... Believe in one again, eveything's going to be Ok. As long as you have a breath, there is always room for hope :)

Pain is temporary. Suicide is forever.

And my bed is so comfortable at the end of a long day. Love, Han.